Harrogate Wine

Harrogate Wine (Taffeta)
I’m definitely getting younger – I swear it! Or at least growing prettier and more feminine!
…and here’s the proof!
Well, over the recent years, I have of course attended to many a beautifying treatment and processes to bring about deep and permanent feminising, but for sure within this last 12 months I am starting to see the changes - which is quite disconcerting in many ways.
Yes, of course, this is the road I have chosen to take but at some point there was definitely no way back which was both scary and unsettling, mostly because it defies accepted logic whilst closely testing my resolve and commitment. Things I was not all prepared for.
I never got over the sudden shock of waking up that one morning with the distinct feeling I should be living as a female. Not a thing you prepare for, I can tell you. And from this feeling I then went on to simply wanting a different life. Of course I knew there would be change involved but I hardly expected the extensive complications nor the decisions I’d be faced with. Avoiding the intimate details which are personal and private it’s worth mentioning my evolvement has been not at all what I expected. In the beginning I took videos of myself to develop my movements, poise and such and now they form a record of my development. To see myself in the more recent videos… well, good heavens, I completely struggle to accept that it’s really me and find the image quite confusing and unsettling. This earlier video shows the fairly striking development just in this past year. But I guess the point I’m trying to make is that having made the original naive decision the inevitable and mostly unexpected steps have lead me along a road that has affected me in ways I could never imagine. It’s a very easy thing to say I want to become a female. But the reality is a whole different thing and has shaken me to the very core. And now seeing myself completely “as a female” is a quite shock, I can tell you!
Golly, this Harrogate video has been waiting for nearly a year for the Mistress of Editing to get around to wrapping her magic fingers over the inches of celluloid, but surely you have to agree that in the more recent video efforts, such as Red Spotty, I do look more shapely, lighter, with a softer prettier complexion. Generally even more lovelier! If that at all possible! :) Do you agree?
But back to that day in Harrogate… and well, dearie me, I have always been in two-minds about this wine-coloured taffeta dress. I was so taken with it when I first saw it in the shop. Quite expensive but equally as unique. It’s a wrap-around affair starting with a stretchy slightly backless bodice falling down into a wonderful full taffeta skirt with large pleats. It has a wrap-around tie belt that keeps the whole thing closed and brings in my waist. As it barely sits on my shoulders it has the tendency to slip forwards giving me the continual disconcerting sensation that it might suddenly drop completely leaving me standing in public with my silky bra all on show. As the evening progresses, or the day as on this occasion, and as I wriggle about, the dress inevitably slips forwards on my shoulders. Maybe it’s my slightly broad shoulders (from swimming), maybe it my boobs or maybe it’s simply the stretchy fabric, but I have to keep constant attention on staying inside the dress, as well as not revealing the back of my bra with the low back…Oh my, all these things a girl has to think about…
And so last August I was out with a date, and off to a Gilbert and Sullivan affair at a swanky Victorian Theatre. He is an ex-military man and always turns out nicely dressed which gives me the exciting opportunity to dress up a little…. And you know how I like to dress up a little…! :)
With my ultra-smooth body, nails, hair and makeup looking fine here I am in expensive silky undies, proper seamed nylon stockings and carefully matching stiletto shoes. I’ve toned down my lip colour and eyeshadow to look a little more normal, more day-wear and even though I’m slightly elegantly dressed because I’m so petite everybody simply assumes I’m just another posh Harrogate lady out with her man off to the theatre. This feels so natural now to me. I seem to fit so comfortably into the role that I give it no second thought. I’m simply the woman out in the evening and that’s how the people around also see me.
Amanda x